so, its my life

welcome,
its my life.
You never know what you'll get, but you can expect a lot of
surprises,
irony,
and coincidences.
If you're lucky, you could be thrown into one of my more recent rages.
I lie about wanting to go to homecoming.
I say I don't.
But only because
I'm not going to get asked.
It's okay though.
It's okay.
If you want to really know me,
you probably never will.
I like to fake my secrets
and create my alter life.
I make my own excitement.
I control my dreams.
and I am usually happy.
Even if I pretend that I'm not.
You know that I'm upset
when I'm crying.
And you know that I'm jealous
when I can't keep my eyes in one place.
You know that I'm nervous
When I can't stop talking.
and you know that I'm lying
when I'm at a loss of words.
Meet the girl
without a boyfriend
because I keep my standards high.
Don't ask me why I do it.
Sometimes I ask myself the same question.
Most of the time
I'm afraid of what
could happen.
I need someone who
can just say yes or no
to every decision I want to make.
Speaking of decisions.
I hate them.
If there's anything I'm more afraid of
than spiders,
its decisions.
I know, I'm
a baby.
But
Think about it.
My decisions affect so many
people.
and I could make so many
people
Unhappy.
Let me tell you something else
(you being the reader, if there are any)
I can have self control
if I want to.
I am kind
if I want to be.
I'm dramatic
When I'm attention starved.
And when I don't give you a hug,
I still want one.