Don't tell me you aren't excited.

if I were to talk to you right now..

This is what you would hear.

I have no poetic words for you, no literary writing. When I speak in person, this is how I talk to people. In English.

Let me just tell you,

Have you ever known what it feels like to
sweat
and
Love It?
I believe that my schedule of the day previously included,
pure
torture and possibly death.
But did you know?
It is wonderful.
Being in shape...that's wonderful.
Knowing what your body can do, and what it is
capable of.
Truly terrifying and inspiring at the same time.

You could possibly be thinking right now that I am the most disgusting person you may ever meet or get a chance to meet.
You may be judging. But who cares? Not me. I'm in love with my body and what it can do. (don't take that the wrong way, please.)

Also, today, I ate lunch.

now here's a true tangent for you:

Another thing I really like is when people read my blog. I was thinking about blogs the other day...and who really cares? People read these blogs like they are some magazine. But blogs I have read, are personal. Very personal. Some blogs include things that nobody would think about telling somebody in person. You think my blog is deep? I'm not being a hypocrite. The things I write are the things I am comfortable telling people. I guess those people could also be willing to share those things about themselves. But blogs are only an example of the technology that prohibits our everyday lives. Especially mine. Look at me. I'm typing this on a blog when I could be telling somebody else. (This is hypocritical.)

Par example: Let's glance into my life. Texting. The everyday teenager's enemy. I love it. I can tell people things I would never say to their faces. I can text boys and tell them everything on my mind without feeling like a complete dope until I see them in person the next day. Truthfully, I would never find myself in the kind of drama I dive into without it. Texting is a convenience that can quickly evolve into destruction and distraction.

You think this post was random?
You should meet me in person.

Here is a nice picture for you:

do you believe me yet?

I believe in fairytales.

I believe in friends who will never really pull through.

I believe you will text me back when you never really do.

I believe the things people say about me that I know

Aren't true.

I believe the scary stories you hear when you're kids.

I believe you'll like me again

even though I may not have a chance.

I believe you don't know

when you do.

I believe I am good at dancing. (no comment on what you may think)

I believe I have talent.

I believe that if I keep a flashlight by my bed I will never see the dark.
I believe I can be a half-hipster and steal ideas that I think are cool.

But.

I also believe in Christ.

I believe in being my best self.
I believe I'll find someone who loves me
for who I am.
I believe I can be beautiful.
I believe in family.
I believe that ridiculous dreams can be realities.
But most of all.
I believe in you, and I believe in me.

For all those who have self-esteem lessons at church every week that
make you feel like a complete loser
Because you can't seem to pull 'pretty' out of your name.
I'm sorry. (same as me.)

Don't think I'm a copycat if you've done this before.
This list has long ago been written and could go on and on.
but whats wrong with me copying anyways?
After all, copying is
the highest form of flattery.

also.
my grandpa said I looked skinny today.
best compliment I have received all week.
from my grandpa, That. is the highest form of flattery. 

things on my mind

shhh...

Shhhh...
don't tell anyone
but I had a great time.
don't tell 'em that
this could have possibly been my first date.
Don't tell the people
about everything that happened
No, it wasn't bad, nothing happened bad,
But its the secret part that makes it so good.
I won't tell you
but it could have been the best night that
I've had for a couple months.
Shhh...
I'm so happy
I could sing
Oh wait.
I am singing.
Don't tell anyone but I'm pretty sure
that my self confidence
has been boosted to a ten.
Don't tell those kids
that despite the giant pimple
on my face
I forgot about it
and Was Happy.
Shh...
I'm smiling bigger than you.
Did you have fun?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But who cares?
Tonight was about me.
Shhh...

Who are you anyways?

Its funny

The way life works, isn't it?

Its not my fault I'm crazy

and it isn't my fault that I think about you

so much.

Maybe someday, 

we'll be best friends,

But for now 

We'll stay on our separate paths.

What did I do?

What did I say?

Nothing.

Well, I'd like to say that

I said

Nothing.

But truthfully, I said

Everything.

And its all 

My fault.

As much as I hate to 

take the blame,

I'm afraid I can only give you

a small percentage of it.

I feel like I know

Who you are.

But do you know me?
Of course you do. 

I force my life into yours

Unnecessarily.

And I'm sure you hate it

and I'm sure I will continue

being a 

crazy 

raving 

lunatic.

 

Perfect Post for a Rainy Saturday.

Bill Cosby--My Favorite Person.

the Thursday Post. It snowed today.

I know I already made
a Monday post,
But
I just had to name this post after
my most favorite day of the week
this week at least.

Let me tell you the series of thoughts that went through my head
today. (this always seems to describe my day best.)

 "Math! I love math! I can do Math!"
"Wow. I can't believe I just figured that out!"
"ASL."
"Re-peat peat peat peat? i thought it was beep beep beep beep"
"this sweater matches my nails. dangit"
"Lunch!"
"My hair..its red?"
"Okay, so if I walk around, I could coincidentally run into him"
"That was great! I coincidentally ran into him!"

"Well this is lame."
"Old Dan Tucker he came to town! Wait, who is that anyways?"
"I wish my name was Dinah."

"Get over it. You aren't getting answered back."
"Why did I ask someone to this dance anyways?"
"This dance sure is causing me a lot of grief"
"This is awkward."
"Bam. All the presidents in less than an hour."
"also, it snowed today. in october."

Vanity, Vanity.

Vanity, vanity.
The world is subject to your every command.
Vanity, vanity.
The demand is high
for material goods.
Vanity, vanity
I am surprised
At Myself.
Vanity, vanity
you flaunt your shade in every mirror.
Taunting your subjects at every corner
Vanity, vanity
you hide my friends
and cause me to question
myself.
Vanity, vanity
there is sin in the worst
there is pride in
your every movement.
Vanity, vanity
the epitome of the mind
and yet the enemy
of the heart.
You attract my eyes
and divert my thoughts
only to capture for a moment
before I realize.
Vanity, vanity.
You could possibly be
driving us all to
Insanity.

Monday, Monday.

So good to me.
Monday, Monday,
It was all
I hoped it would be
--the Mamas and the Papas.

Unfortunately, It was all I hoped it would be
And Nothing More.
Just a plain old monday.

But I'm just wondering,
How do you build a shrine?
I mean, you would have to be
Seriously Obsessed
to build a shrine for someone.
Don't you think?
This reminds me of Paul Blart.

Dangit.
I was unable to retrieve a photo of
Pahud's Shrine
on the Internet.

Thats okay.
Just watch Paul Blart.

Anyways, today
I went to school.
School is weird. I don't know why I'm
always so Worried about what
other People think about me.
I mean, I don't care about the vast majority of them
or what they do,
or who they are,
so why am I worried that they are judging me?

I don't know.
Human nature is Puzzling.

Or is it just my nature?

Forever My Own Human,
Kalli.

(That was kind of formal,
You know you liked it. )