for you, when you realize

hearts beat faster than we're breathing, I suspect

I couldn't really hear them, 

but I could hear our knees tapping

against the hard plastic of lawn chairs

our eyes meet and it's a contest,

I'm drowning in a sea of broken, glassy green,

begging to be held, 

I know I'm seen,

what are we waiting for? I wonder,

willing to wait, willing to wish away 

wish away all the dew on the grass

all the foggy mornings and late-night-cheese-fries,

until we can be together and I can breathe,

breathe like my heart underwater 

like my brain on jupiter,

every inhale for me,

every exhale for us,

one-two, I think, one-two,

and I can feel our knees touching purposelessly,

folding into one another like gravity,

we can't help it,

they're trying to stop us,

mosquitoes swarming for a drop of sweet blood

hot blood pumping through me, 

iron singing to both of us,

we have no defenses.

worst case scenario

worst case scenario,
you look at me, submitting yourself like you always do,
reading me like a doctor's diagnosis.
you'll laugh at all my jokes and question my logic
frequently, probably,
but I appreciate it
worst case scenario,
I drive and won't look over at you,
focused on the road and my foot on the pedal,
but you'll probably drive
and look at me for a second too long
and I'll break contact to remind you to look at the road
worse case, you'll listen to me
and I'll listen to you
magnets spinning around each other
only to be separated before they finally make contact
we're magnets, aren't we? I think so.
I'm never afraid to be with you,
but I'm afraid of myself
I'm afraid I'm nailing myself to the ground
and I'll be stuck here forever, waiting.
worst case scenario,
I'll be nailed to the ground,
but I know you'll always come back.
anyway,
it doesn't bother me,
but last time I cried on the drive home,
alone and wiping my face, one hand on the steering wheel
I just let my sobs fill the space around me,
and they held me like a blanket.
I don't know why I was crying,
I guess anyone cries in a worst case scenario,
even if it's the kind that leaves you breathless and grateful and comfortable,
I can't think of best-case,
I can't be disappointed.