Vanity, Vanity.

Vanity, vanity.
The world is subject to your every command.
Vanity, vanity.
The demand is high
for material goods.
Vanity, vanity
I am surprised
At Myself.
Vanity, vanity
you flaunt your shade in every mirror.
Taunting your subjects at every corner
Vanity, vanity
you hide my friends
and cause me to question
myself.
Vanity, vanity
there is sin in the worst
there is pride in
your every movement.
Vanity, vanity
the epitome of the mind
and yet the enemy
of the heart.
You attract my eyes
and divert my thoughts
only to capture for a moment
before I realize.
Vanity, vanity.
You could possibly be
driving us all to
Insanity.

I Don't.

I Don't Fit In.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Like Rap.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Like These People.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Like Doing Homework.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Like Myself.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Like Mexican Food.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Remember My Locker Combo.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Have the Courage To Talk To You.

I Try. 

I Can't.

I Don't Have Enough Energy To Do All This.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Want to Run.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Know Why I Can't Be Positive.

I Try.

I Can't.

I Don't Know How To Be Myself.

I Try.

I Can't.

Horribly Upset

I'm horribly upset
I don't want to talk about it.
My hair is a mess.
My clothes don't fit.
I can't sing a note
because my throat is hurting
And I can't stand up
Because my muscles are burning.
The car is a loser
I'd like to beat it up
Power steering doesn't work
and the battery's a..cup.
I have a ton of homework
I don't want to read the chapter
This is really dumb
And I'm going to turn into a raptor
This boy is a freaking idiot
I'd like to slug him in the face
But that would be bad
So i'll slow down the pace
This terrible poem is over now
I know you really liked it
So I will just take a bow
And become a poetry writer for the rest of my whole dang life.

The end

Nuggets of my Brain.

Here a a few little morsels, A few Tasty Nuggets, of information and random thoughts compiled in my brain today.
It is on rare occasion that one such as you can hear the things I never say.
(I have written these things down throughout the day. So they are for reals. Genuine.)

"Did I sleep text this guy? I sleep texted him! I did!"

"I wonder how many times this lady will say Nugget"

"I can't seem to recall what life was like when the dishwasher worked."

"You know, surveys say people have their best thinking time on the toilet; I'm starting to find mine while washing the dishes"

"How many cookies can my body handle today?"

"I wonder if putting syrup on my eggs makes them really unhealthy."

"Who invented texting, anyway? Shouldn't that be in this textbook or something?"

"My feet are so cold I'm starting to forget about the spiders in my basement."

"If lightning struck and we had a blackout, would we still have to go to school tomorrow? Like, even if the stoplights didn't work?

"I can't believe iPads don't have a USB port. How does that even make sense? If I had another iPod I couldn't even plug it into my iPad to download music or charge. Hate Apple."

"Wait, does my uncle still work for Apple?"

"Reading the Bible is really breaking down my self-confidence since I' m so slow."

"I wish the power would go out every night."

"Am I allowed to be in love with a lot of different people at the same time? How does that work?"

"When I'm married, will I ever think about any other guys?"

"Hey wait a second. I'm super confused about this person."

"Does he really think I'm pretty? Well, I guess I could be pretty. I guess I'm okay. Yeah, I could be considered pretty I guess, if you looked at my face this way."

"I hope I never sweat as much as she does"

"I can play that on the piano! Hey, should we do a musical number in church? Hey, I could make a family band! We can do harmonies and everything! Wait, we don't have a soprano."

"The Lord Loves Me, Too."

"I really hope there's no pictures of me on this slideshow."

"Shoot, thats an ugly picture of me."

"I did my homework. I can't believe it."

"This is the third blessing I have received in two weeks. I am a blessed person."

"I just want another thunderstorm."

And Last, but not least:

"Who's even going to read all of these? Whoever it is must have a lot of extra time on their hands. Well, I have a lot of time..Well not really. But enough to write these down for whoever the lucky person is."

Fairytale.

Let me write you my fairytale.

Once upon a time, not too long ago, there lived a girl.  Now, she is no ordinary girl. Some might look at her and say, what an ugly creature! Get her out of our sight!
Yes.
But, this girl had many talents, too. She was a total nerd and she loved music.  Not only this, but she was a princess. A daughter of a King.  Most girls are.
Well.
One day, a charming prince knocked at her window and tempted her with his romantic words and his flattery.  At first, she was not fooled.  Many princes will do anything for a princess. Even if they do look like crap.
But, by and by, she fell in love with him.  And yes, he broke her heart.  And she didn't care.
Nearly a year went by, and after falling in love with the prince's best friend and possibly every guy in the castle, she began to realize that she was still in love with the prince. It wasn't her fault. But she thought maybe, just maybe, if the prince had loved her ugly face once, he might love it again.
So, she kept it a secret.
Mostly because she was afraid.
And she had good reason to be afraid.  After months, she finally gave in and went completely ballistic.
She sent him letter after letter, at first with his charming replies, and those replies lasted.
Then one day, they stopped.
She worried. She fretted. She hoped nothing had happened.
But, something did happen.
The prince had stopped playing his useless charade. He had never loved her. She knew when she saw him. She told herself, Don't go near him. She knew from the day he knocked at her window. She knew he would eventually forget about her and despise her face, resolving to find another princess.
And so the princess sat on her windowsill, never to be loved again.
The end.

The moral of this story is: never fall in love.

The end.

Last day of summer.
A fitting 30 million degrees too.
Construction = not done

I think I decided to play basketball again.
It could be worthwhile.

School will be heck.
The only fun classes I have are a capella and seminary.
At least I'll be prepared for college, right?

I just remembered.
I Don't Have a Back Pack.

I'm scared to go to school because I'm scared to see that boy.
And I'm scared for AP Physics.
And I'm scared that I've lost all my social skills whatsoever over the summer.
I'm scared of any grade lower than an A.
And I'm scared of not fitting in.

Sound like regular teenage problems, right?
They don't seem regular if they are your own.

Today.

Back to my thrilling life. At this moment I am waiting for my grandma to take me to a "girl's night".
This includes my aunts and cousins 12+. Honestly, preparing for this thing was like
getting ready for prom. Speaking of prom.
I had the worst dream last night about school.
And dances.
And it got me thinking.
What if I don't get asked to any dances?
What if everyone hates me?
What if I have a "rebel party" every night of the dance?
I'm very nervous about this.

Anyway, yesterday we (My family, my Aunt's family, and Grandma and Grandpa), took a trip to the This is the Place National Park. It was really neat.
I enjoyed it thoroughly.
I took some great pictures...
Unfortunately they may not be posted for a week or so or until I can upload them on the laptop. (Stupid 8 gig card.)
Well. I must go now.

PS new pet peeve.
Poetry.
Don't get me wrong, I love poetry, but do we have to speak it all the time?

Did you miss me?

No, I didn't think so.
Well, I'm back. I went to the mountains. I stayed in a great '70's cabin and got
0 hours of sleep on a slopey bed with a clingy 7 year old.
But was it fun?
Yeah, you could say that.
I've never been to Brighton as a ski resort, but it was truly wonderful up there. Everything
was so beautiful and green, thanks to all of the rain we've been getting this year!
I even saw a moose.
I went canoeing, got yelled at by some old guys, and ate a lot of food. What more could a girl ask for?

I'm feeling especially down on myself today, though.
Just because I'm not pretty, doesn't mean I'm not worth something, right?
Right?
Maybe.

Peace and Blessings.
Kalli :)