Sunday, October 14, 2012

Don't read this

Because I never learn.
Because mixing your hashbrowns and eggs is gross.
Because I hate school,
not because of the school part,
but because of the people part.
Because all of a sudden I've been losing my Words with Friends game.
Because I've been making mistakes;
not just the typical high school drama kind,
not only the million stupid things I say,
but real mistakes.
Mistakes that send me curling up into a ball and cringing at the sight of myself.
Because it isn't right that money means so much.
Because I forget which reality is more important.
Because I'm weeding in the garden and getting dirty.
So dirty that I can't wash it off with just a hose, but I have to take
shower, after
shower, after
shower.
And I have to wash my clothes 3x on the "extreme soilage" level.
Because I'm rolling in filth and forgetting who I used to be.
And I know its wrong.
I know that I don't need to be this dirty.
But I am.
I am,
I am,
I am.
And its ruining everything.
Because my ukulele is lonely,
and my typewriter is desolate.
The piano hasn't been touched, and
the only problem is money.
Money, is
Money, is
Money.
It's only paper that is more valuable than gold,
than food,
than human lives.
AND IT'S RUINING MY LIFE
Honestly, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I need,
I'm sorry, I feel,
I'm sorry, I'm stupid.
Unteachable.