I glance behind me, seeing nothing but gravel and dust.
Gravel and dust that once gave me purpose and hope but
that has lost its shimmer and its brilliance.
I look at the mirrors that tremble under the pressure and see
faces of those who I thought I knew.
One who was the tallest,
the counselor,
the meme-loving 4 o clocker,
the best.
Surroundings change my perception and
I'm not really sure what I am looking at anymore.
Back and I try not to hate the reality before me
try not to judge
try not to vomit words over those who don't need them
Help me before my hands reach helplessly
for a grip that is only an illusion of security
a practiced deceiver
the knower of lies and twisted truths.
Back and I slipped in like a whisper
without much hope of fame
I cut through the crowds,
leaving shards of emptiness in my wake.
Back and it is entirely cold
full of faked greeting and love
too far away from formed expectaions
Back and I wish
I could just decide
On who I was already.
