Childish

You know, sometimes I wish that I had never learned any more than how to read "A is for Apple."
The world would seem a lot simpler if I had never learned any common sense or calculus. Truthfully, innocence is bliss.
       Really though. As a little girl, I was never really worried about what other people thought, and for me, everyone was pretty. When I saw myself I didn't think I was ugly, or pretty, or even a redhead. I just thought I was Kalli.
       How do these kids manage?! How can they possibly go countless days without looking someone up and down and judging their appearance? How do they sit in the sandbox and play and get sunburned while their parents fret over taxes and bills and skin cancer?

To them, a dollar is the most amazing thing they have ever held in their hand.
Just think: 100 gumballs at Kohlers.
They could possibly be the richest one in their class at that moment.
        In fact, they can be anyone they want. None of them care how much money careers bring in or how much education they require; but they all have something they want to be. Firemen, cops, astronauts, dancers, movie stars. A vet. How many kids did you know who wanted to be a vet? I never understood it. I always thought I was going to be a mom and a teacher.

        Okay, so that's a little more realistic and grown-up. But maybe my 7-year-old self was even a little more punctual than my 16-year-old high school self who has no idea what she wants to do because a National Geographic Photographer is a completely outlandish idea, unless you've already inherited quite a sum of money. And college? East coast? New York? What was I thinking? I'll be stuck here in Utah, in my little bubble. That's okay. I'll add diversity I guess. I have red hair. We're almost extinct.

         I wish that I still had hours to play dress up and to create 'cakes' in the sand. I wish I could be a rugged rock collector like I was before, breaking open rocks and proclaiming them to be expensive crystals. My dreams of real princesses have been shattered and I've given up every hope of becoming a movie star.
I guess I'm still the same person, but a little more experienced. Experience is good, right? Its good. Growing up is good. I guess the only reason I want to believe that innocence is bliss is because I don't want to take the responsibility that comes with knowledge. WITH GREAT.. never mind.