I just have to write this down.

I just have to write this down,
I have to,
before my head explodes
because of all the feelings,
feeling,
leaking into my veins on accident
and into my brain
and it gets a little stuck
and suffocates me a little.

I just have to say,
that I know how it is,
I know how you feel,
how we are,
I know,
you'll tell me a hundred times how
stupid I am for thinking otherwise
if I ever try to explain,
I know,
it's just that,
it's only,
I'm not mad,
I'm confused,
and I realized--
you treat me differently when you're with her.
and I can't understand why,
when with anyone else,
I still feel so loved and missed,
and when you're with her,
you push me away,
you have to pretend to be
someone else.
I don't know.