kelpy valentine's

He stares at his feet and says,
    "I think you're great",
I'm listening, I prompt, and I am.

"You remind me of my tuna fish as soon as I open the can,
and of my mother when she is baking.
You remind me of a bruised child that needs holding,
with no shame.
You remind me of a light that never turns off no matter
how many times I hit it with a hammer
And of an ice cream flavor nobody has heard of,
or a paintbrush with too many bristles."

I'm tempted to pull the fire alarm.

"My blood rushes to my toes and I kind of feel like
I have a sprained ankle when I talk to you,
But in the good way, like when the ocean licks
your papercuts.
I'm never really sure whether you are mine or
whether you are playing a pretend game,
but either way, I'm as happy as my dad was
when I finally sold my pet rabbit on the internet."

I stare at him incredulously.

"You seem like the kind of person who would
eat the insides of oreos for me,
Or maybe I would eat them because I know
you don't like them either,
And you're kind of like an eagle who doesn't
remember whether to build his nest in a tree
or atop of an electric pole.
I'm just trying to tell you that--"

He stops, because I've kissed him.

Read if you like Rambles

Time for a ramble.

Its really peculiar the way things work, isn't it? One moment you think the world is ending, and the next you're afraid that any more laughter could make your head explode. I'm curled up in the fetal position yesterday, and today I'm nothing less than normal. The truth is I'm not really sure why I'm like this, but I know that most of the population is probably quite similar. I have an opinion about life--and the opinion is this: Life is unmistakably hard. Its unbelievable at times, and it's full of people who will tear you down. But the truth is they are all here to make you stronger.

I live a fairly average life. Repetition and schedules are prominent, and I don't see much adventure when I'm in school. The thing that makes it all different, though, is my attitude. I may go to school with my hair wet, but maybe its because I enjoy sleeping. Not maybe--I do enjoy sleeping. I'm not sure where I'm going with this.
I really wonder how happy the "happy" people are. I've talked about being popular. About cheerleaders. I'm just not sure, who are the people who are really happy?

All I know is I want to escape. I want to leave and never come back. I want to get out of the school where I hear about druggies, lesbians, and the LDS church all in one sentence. I'm ready to move on and grow up. That sounds so depressing--but if I had ever been in Neverland, I wouldn't have left. The thing about Neverland is that you have no worries. (also Hakuna Matata). But this isn't Neverland and you have to go to school, have a career, grow up. And if you don't, you could be stuck in high school with a bunch of morons who think its cool to talk about sex all the time. I'm sorry, but that isn't cool.

I know that stuff is more prominent out of Utah. But I honestly don't care. If I could leave right now, I wouldn't have to listen to it. I could just sleep in trees, eat on top of buildings, wear my shoes out until they  have no soles. (Is this bad? Am I wishing to be a poor person right now?) But seriously! Money shouldn't matter. I just want an adventure. And maybe a love story. I'm sick of the whole teenage drama where you break up, cry, make up, and then never talk to each other again. I'm not even one of those girls who get into those relationships! I seem to always find myself in the position of the girl who nobody likes.

Well, people like me. But nobody (no boys) love me. I'm a friend, I'm the crazy one you want to sing in the car at the top of your lungs with. But sometimes I'm afraid I'll never be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't know. I'm over it. I've given up and left it alone. The one I love never seems to love me back at the right moment, and I'm afraid that I tend to overreact a little too much. So I'll be at home on Valentine's Day. Bring me some food if you want. (And the sweetheart's dance. Is anyone going?) Obviously I'll always be the girl who is there for the guy when he's having girl problems. With a different girl.

Anyways enough with the pity party here's some pictures.
(next post I'm TOTES going to post my own pictures so look forward to it.)