she

drips of sunlight color her hair,
laughter ringing in her eyes
her smile promises love and life
beyond discretion

wait, her lungs cry out
oppressed by image
clear to everyone but herself
blurring her sweet eyes with fire

tears carve my heart out
eating like maggots at its flesh,
one two, one two
my arms reach to hold her

but she's not there,
her tiny fingers shaking,
her body stiff, eyes open but unseeing
dead, or wanting, I'm not certain

one two, one two

{today is really summer}

{realizing you have less than half the summer}
{remembering goals that seemed plausible last night}
{eating sugar like there is no tomorrow. even though there is.}
{planning and planning}
{dreaming of beaches}
{getting tan-well, for you}
{noticing that your only friend is a bird}
{not caring about that ^^^}
{wishing for kisses. Hersheys...}
{forgetting how to blow-dry your hair}
{falling asleep on the trampoline}
{thinking you need a job}
{but remembering how good lazy feels}
{falling in love...again}
{hot grape nuts}
{zipline rides with glow sticks}
{being amused}
{doing ab workouts and failing}
{reading over 15 books already}
{going over the limit of books at the library}
{blogging, blogging, blogging}

concerned

I'd like to say a few things.
Is that alright?
Not that you care.
So you could stop reading this now or you could continue...
but I just have a few complaints.

I would first like to bring up the terrible lack of concern  that people have lost for my well-being recently. I could be on my deathbed and people would still be selling home-ade rap CDs on the street. Have you no compassion? Truthfully I'm living a boring life ever since testing ended and I'm feeling awfully neglected. If you aren't going to answer my calls, please try to convince yourselves that those pictures you are going to post on facebook about that party last night (that I wasn't invited to) should probably stay far away from me.

Secondly, I'd like to bring up my over-bearing concern for people who compare their writing to bodily fluids and organs. Mostly because its disgusting and sometimes graphic, but also because nobody wants to be thinking about a bloody squishy heart while reading about your love life. And words look nothing like vomit. Vomit is...I was going to describe it, but that was getting a little sketchy. Or babies. Don't compare it to babies. Find something better and use your creativity please. (not to be harsh or anything. But really.)

Lastly, I'd like to point out that concern is really unattractive. Its making my and your face wrinkly and full of acne. (Which is really disturbing. Something close to a ninety-year old going through puberty. Equivalent to a hybrid of a toad-chameleon.) Stop worrying and eat Nutella or something.

Who doesn't like Nutella?
Please raise your hand now so I can use the money you are currently saving to buy it for myself.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this...

Yes

Obsession of the day...
I couldn't even write a song today because it just sounded
so bad when it wasn't in french.
Thank you Cassidy for reminding me of Coeur de Pirate,
my favorite.

wonderful, isn't it?

yum.

the Thursday Post. It snowed today.

I know I already made
a Monday post,
But
I just had to name this post after
my most favorite day of the week
this week at least.

Let me tell you the series of thoughts that went through my head
today. (this always seems to describe my day best.)

 "Math! I love math! I can do Math!"
"Wow. I can't believe I just figured that out!"
"ASL."
"Re-peat peat peat peat? i thought it was beep beep beep beep"
"this sweater matches my nails. dangit"
"Lunch!"
"My hair..its red?"
"Okay, so if I walk around, I could coincidentally run into him"
"That was great! I coincidentally ran into him!"

"Well this is lame."
"Old Dan Tucker he came to town! Wait, who is that anyways?"
"I wish my name was Dinah."

"Get over it. You aren't getting answered back."
"Why did I ask someone to this dance anyways?"
"This dance sure is causing me a lot of grief"
"This is awkward."
"Bam. All the presidents in less than an hour."
"also, it snowed today. in october."

I was born a Happy Person.

I am happy.

Happy like...

I was on Christmas when I received a 

Soft Serve Ice Cream Maker.

I'm more than just satisfied,

I think I'm truly ecstatic.

Truly, my room isn't clean,

which can be considered more

of a pet peeve than ever,

and I'm running in he(ck) 

every other day,

but 

I'm lovin this life.

Now, tomorrow you'll see me and 

I'll probably be [fake]-happy again.

Which I feel like I usually am.

Because usually I am upset about something.

But just today, I realized.

Its not [fake]-happy!

I've tried to fake happy.

Its near the impossible.

And as much as I'd like to 

draw attention to myself by being

overly depressed

sad

and upset,

I'm afraid that's just not going to work.

Before, I thought that the way I could get you

to notice me

Was to be completely 

invisible.

I thought that I was so sad

that if I could just cry in your arms

Any person would sympathize with me

and become my friend.

However,

Today I realized.
That is obviously not me,

that is obviously

a completely different being inside of me

who feels like they are starved of attention 

even though I'm getting plenty of it.

I can't say I'm super popular,

but I have friends, 

and I'm definitely not a shy person.

It is incredibly hard for me to stay angry at someone

for more than one or two minutes

and It is even more improbable

that I would ever fall victim to a depression.

Its true.

I don't know why,

but

I was born 

a Happy Person.