Things that have happened.

1. I got a job.

2. I quit my job.*

3. I got grounded.

4. I read Hunger Games. Again.**

5. I officially stopped doing my hair.

6. I stopped eating.***

7. I got a twitter...okay, I started writing on my twitter that is age old.

8. The circumference of a circle is..ACT Prep.****

9. I have gotten to the point where I could cry at any given moment.*****

10. I am inadequate.

*Okay, don't jump on my back about this. Truth is, I only went through a few days of training. But after a while, I realized that I simply couldn't handle it. I mean, sure, I want a job. But I don't need one. I felt I needed responsibility and money at the moment, but truth is, that is the last thing I need. I have too much of the previous and the latter will just have to wait. So, I'm going to work in the summer. So technically I didn't quit. I just postponed.

**Oh my gosh. How could I love Hunger Games more? I couldn't. I finished that whole dang book in less than 24 hours and could hardly call it wasting time. Can't wait for the movie, and can't believe I'm not going to the midnight premiere. Those of you who can go--you better go.

***I'm not anorexic. I just forget to eat. I'm not even hungry....Okay well I ate like a whole bag of movie theatre butter microwave popcorn the other day. That was pretty substantial.

****So scared for the ACT. I actually really shouldn't be on the computer right now...I really should be studying. Okay better wrap this up.

*****Sigh. Dread. Consider my last post--this is how I've been thinking and feeling for the past few weeks. In reference to #10, I'm simply inadequate. I do everything wrong. I can't understand physics and, just school. I don't understand this boy. I want to get asked to prom. I know I won't. Its okay. Just keep telling yourself that, right? 

A simple Metamorphosis

Standing in the doorway, I am more alone than ever. The peculiarity of my solitude doesn't phase me; the rush of the crowd brushes against my cheek. I see past the stares and the complexity of conversations whispering in my ear. I hear the breeze and I feel footsteps on the floor. My heart pounds faintly in my chest, drawing my eyes to my thoughts. I strain for the simplicity and satisfaction that tears can bring, only to find my efforts are without amends. My aperture is low, and my focus is single. Then the shutter is released; the lens is cracked. Vibrations wake me and the world comes alive. Colors appear, and the faces come clear at once. A vibrant blur, I search for familiarity in the chaos. Noise tramples my thoughts and kills my mind-wanders. The discordant sounds of voices echo in and out of my ears, a constant stream of long verbs and sharp consonants. My feet force themselves out of paralysis; I trip over my toes and shove myself against the mass. Slowly, steadily, I make progress. Nobody can tell whether it is progress or a fall; but I see improvement and only improvement. The reason? Only my instincts can tell. Perhaps I will find him, perhaps I will stumble upon my old friend. Above the crowd, he towers above the rest and calls me to his unknown, yet faintly familiar embrace. He is confidence and he is comfort. My fight against them has been fought and my struggle with my own conflicts has been realized. I allow my rigid, determined figure to relax and become limp in his arms. I welcome him, and he accepts the invitation without a particle of reluctance. My shattered everything tumbles into order and perfection, and I forget previous disarray. The images of materialism dissolve and I find beauty in myself and in others without envy. He takes me carefully by the hand and leads me along, nudging me back into a river of senses. I remember, and my productivity increases. The change I have discovered is inside of me, and my course cannot be stopped.

Read if you like Rambles

Time for a ramble.

Its really peculiar the way things work, isn't it? One moment you think the world is ending, and the next you're afraid that any more laughter could make your head explode. I'm curled up in the fetal position yesterday, and today I'm nothing less than normal. The truth is I'm not really sure why I'm like this, but I know that most of the population is probably quite similar. I have an opinion about life--and the opinion is this: Life is unmistakably hard. Its unbelievable at times, and it's full of people who will tear you down. But the truth is they are all here to make you stronger.

I live a fairly average life. Repetition and schedules are prominent, and I don't see much adventure when I'm in school. The thing that makes it all different, though, is my attitude. I may go to school with my hair wet, but maybe its because I enjoy sleeping. Not maybe--I do enjoy sleeping. I'm not sure where I'm going with this.
I really wonder how happy the "happy" people are. I've talked about being popular. About cheerleaders. I'm just not sure, who are the people who are really happy?

All I know is I want to escape. I want to leave and never come back. I want to get out of the school where I hear about druggies, lesbians, and the LDS church all in one sentence. I'm ready to move on and grow up. That sounds so depressing--but if I had ever been in Neverland, I wouldn't have left. The thing about Neverland is that you have no worries. (also Hakuna Matata). But this isn't Neverland and you have to go to school, have a career, grow up. And if you don't, you could be stuck in high school with a bunch of morons who think its cool to talk about sex all the time. I'm sorry, but that isn't cool.

I know that stuff is more prominent out of Utah. But I honestly don't care. If I could leave right now, I wouldn't have to listen to it. I could just sleep in trees, eat on top of buildings, wear my shoes out until they  have no soles. (Is this bad? Am I wishing to be a poor person right now?) But seriously! Money shouldn't matter. I just want an adventure. And maybe a love story. I'm sick of the whole teenage drama where you break up, cry, make up, and then never talk to each other again. I'm not even one of those girls who get into those relationships! I seem to always find myself in the position of the girl who nobody likes.

Well, people like me. But nobody (no boys) love me. I'm a friend, I'm the crazy one you want to sing in the car at the top of your lungs with. But sometimes I'm afraid I'll never be the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't know. I'm over it. I've given up and left it alone. The one I love never seems to love me back at the right moment, and I'm afraid that I tend to overreact a little too much. So I'll be at home on Valentine's Day. Bring me some food if you want. (And the sweetheart's dance. Is anyone going?) Obviously I'll always be the girl who is there for the guy when he's having girl problems. With a different girl.

Anyways enough with the pity party here's some pictures.
(next post I'm TOTES going to post my own pictures so look forward to it.)

things I've learned about hair

11 Important Things to know about hair.

1. Remember all these rules apply to the hair on your head. Not your ever-versatile leg hair..
2. Your hair loves you. Love it back.
3. If you have short hair, you're apparently either a boy, or a girl who thinks she is a boy.
4. Black hair=emo
5. White hair=old
6. Red hair=ginger
7.Hair is just dead cells. On your head. So when you tell me you like my hair, you may as well say that you like my dead cells.
8. Growing hair is a pivotal moment in your life. As with cutting it. Your first haircut may even be more significant than the day you were born.
9. You can make your hair into paintbrushes if you want to.
10. No matter how much mayonnaise you put into your hair, you will never look like the pantene models. Even if you are a pantene model.
11. Your hair is your defining feature. Without it, you would be bald.